Unspoken by Johnny Hunt

Author:Johnny Hunt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

COMMUNICATING WITH GRACE

I connect with Janet more deeply and readily when I remind myself of several truths about her:

1. No one knows me better than Janet.

2. No one loves me more deeply than Janet.

3. No one tolerates my inconsistencies more than Janet.

4. No one has forgiven me more than Janet, save the Lord Jesus Christ.

5. No one cares for me and desires for me to succeed in the way Janet does.

Recently as I read Jerry Bridges’s book The Disciplines of Grace, I was reminded that I need to preach the gospel every day to myself. Marriage is a major vehicle for the gospel’s remaking of a man’s heart from the inside out, and of his life from the ground up, but that change can’t happen unless we yield ourselves to God’s commands to husbands, including Ephesians 5:25.

Shortly after reading the book, Janet and I spent a day together. After I brought to our bed her favorite beverage, kissing her and telling her how much I love her, I told her to prepare herself for an Ephesians 5:25 day. I was trying to say that instead of living the day selfishly, I intended, by the grace of God, to love her and focus on her.

One thing is for sure: I am in a relationship with the Lord because He initiated it. And in the same way that Jesus gave Himself for me, I am to give myself for my wife. Jesus gave up His glory and power and became a servant, dying to His own interests and looking to our needs and interests instead. What a tremendous message I send to my wife when I allow the grace of God to be so operative and enabling in my life that I spend large chunks of time listening to her, speaking to her, and caring for her!

Tim Keller stated that if God had the gospel of Jesus in mind when He established marriage, then marriage works only to the degree that it appropriates the pattern of God’s self-giving love in Christ. I know of nothing that causes me to get angrier with my wife than when I remain concerned primarily with my own needs.

So the question in my heart at this moment is this: Do my words build up my wife, or do they (or the lack of them) tear her down? Jesus is the pattern for husbands and our model of gracious communication. Luke 4:22 says, “All bore witness to Him, and marveled at the gracious words which proceeded out of His mouth.” We expect to hear such a report about Jesus, but because He extended His grace to me, I find sufficient grace not only for my salvation, but also to bring new life to my marital communication. God never intended grace to be a commodity to be treasured in a safe, but to be celebrated in our heart and spoken freely as a means of encouraging others.

The context of Ephesians 5:25 also speaks of Spirit-filled surrender in marriage. If

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